2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
