Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
