I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
