I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
