Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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