I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
