Sry I called you an 8
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
