apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You were trust falling into bushes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
