Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
