it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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