Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
