i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
