I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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