I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We named our party play list daddy issues
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
