it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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