He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thus making me awesome and them whores
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
