dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
