So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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