Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
