I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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