u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
