we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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