Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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