but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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