Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
