I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
