Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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