So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
