I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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