Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize