No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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