i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh god it's open bar.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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