Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
