We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she told me i tasted like america
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
