Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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