Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We left the knife in your bed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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