Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize