Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
