Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
