so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
