He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
