Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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