thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
