she woke up with a sticky ear
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
