end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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