I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
