I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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