Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
