Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
