The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize