Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
These tits shall not be calmed
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
