How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
