I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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