you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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