I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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