You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry about my life...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize