youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
