It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
