Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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