I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
