Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
