she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
