i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
