ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
