sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
