Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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