Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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