Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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