just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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