Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
ok first of all what the fuck
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
