Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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