I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
