Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize