there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just want to make out with him forever
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
