her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize